Dapper Dan


Some of Ye greatest tweets:
On responsibility:

“I hate when I’m on a flight and I wake up with a water bottle next to me like oh great now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle”
On the value of privacy:
“Sometimes I push the elevator close button on people running towards the elevator. I just need my own elevator sometimes, my 7 floor sanctuary”
On diversity:
“Man… ninjas are kind of cool… I just don’t know any personally.”
On giving credit where credit is due:
“I would like to thank Julius Caesar for originating my hairstyle”
On hardship:
“Fur pillows are actually hard to sleep on”
On fielding tough questions:
“I know everybody at Rolling Stone had one question on there mind… and the answer is… yes, the shoes are Dreis”
On disappointment:
“I specifically ordered persian rugs with cherub imagery!!! What do I have to do to get a simple persian rug with cherub imagery uuuugh”
On aesthetics:
“Sometimes I get emotional over fonts”
On knowing your strengths:
“I make awesome decisions in bike stores!!!”
On professionalism:
“Never do coke with an intern … they may not be 21”
On looking good:
“She asked when is fashion week…. uuuum… I thought it was every week??!!”
On mathematics:
“My favorite unit of measurement is ‘a shit load.’”
On productive use of all 140 characters in a tweet:
“hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahah aaand 140”
On making small talk:

“No seriously … I said my teeth are real diamonds… these are not fronts… I replaced my bottom row of teeth with diamonds”

On how to ring in the New Year (tweeted on Jan 1, 2011):
On online etiquette:
“You can basically say anything to someone on an email or text as long as you put LOL at the end”
On humility:
“I have started a new company and I’m so excited about the name…. it’s got the best name ever of all companies of all time!!!….”
On… we’re still figuring this one out:
“I just threw some kazoo on this bitch”
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biggiesmallzzz by jb